Rites of Passage

Ministry is one of the best seats in the theater of life.

It’s an honor to collaborate with people to create ceremonies marking significant life transitions through ritual and spoken word

Krystal and Brian do rock, paper, scissors to decide who reads their vows first …

Maia and Will

“Lo! Young we are and yet have stood
like planted hearts in the great Sun
of Love so long (as two fair trees
in woodland or in open dale
stand utterly entwined and breathe
the airs and suck the very light
together) that we have become
as one, deep rooted in the soil
of Life and tangled in the sweet growth.”

J.R.R. Tolkien
printed in Carpenter’s biography,
Tolkien (1977)

For those embarking on new journeys— marriage, parenthood, or claiming one’s true gender and name — I enjoy crafting unique rituals to honor the depth and beauty of these milestones.

an exerpt from an outdoor wedding service written for two UUs, writers who bonded over a shared a love of the Lord of the Rings

Spirit of Life, Ground of Our Being.

We stand in the presence of two souls who, like Tolkien and his Edith, have found in one another a love that is like oxygen, like sunlight. Be with them as they enter together into the covenant of marriage. May the sustaining light of love surround them for all of their days. Amen.

As individuals, Will and Maia, you are each the result of the love of thousands. In this moment, surrounded by the beauty of this place, surrounded by the love of your gathered family and friends, you stand also in the presence of countless ancestors. We are especially mindful of the presence of Will's father, Henry, who we know is beaming with pride for his son and his soon to be daughter in law.

This moment is a linkage from the past to the promise of your future together.

You have each been on your own journey, and you have known joy and grief and happiness and sorrow, both separately and together. On your own, each of you are complete human beings, each with your own lives, your own hopes and dreams.

In choosing to join your lives together in the covenant of marriage, you are not, as some might think, agreeing to dissolve your own dreams and desires in favor of one another’s. This could not be further from the truth. You are agreeing to build new dreams together, while still remaining two distinct people.

You are not promising to complete one another. You are promising to guide, encourage, inspire, and support each other as you each complete yourselves.

In a world characterized by selfishness and fear of the unknown, to reach out and love another person as much as you love yourself - to hold their needs as important as your own - is a radical act. It is an act of bravery, and an act of hope. Maia and Will have chosen to take this adventure, this most epic quest called marriage on together, and they stand together today on an ancient symbol, a labyrinth, that represents the unknown, winding path ahead of them.

To borrow a few words from Neil Gaiman, we pray that the path you two begin together today will be filled with happiness, with "small glories and little triumphs."

We shower you in blessings today because we know that tomorrow begins the real work of marriage -- what Neil Gaiman calls the "negotiation and building and talk that makes even the tiniest happily ever after" something to be truly proud of.

We know that there will be times when you will struggle, when you will discover places in one another where the shiny will have worn off a bit, when you may even doubt your future with one another. Indeed, the two of you have already weathered such storms together, and here you stand.

Today is as much a celebration of your future joy and happiness as it is a celebration of your future arguments and stumbling blocks -- because you cannot have one without the other. And because we believe in you. We believe in the strength of your relationship, and your commitment to one another.

This wedding ceremony itself is a prayer — our prayer for you, Maia and Will. For a journey filled with hope for all sorts of futures. For a hundred thousand beautiful tomorrows …